


Lions and tigers and bears oh my

by Lumoa



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Harry lives somehow, Kingsman AU, M/M, and Eggsy has a thing for small helpless animals, and Harry just can't say no, and he and Eggsy move in together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumoa/pseuds/Lumoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin likes to point out that technically Harry started the trend of bringing back little lost creatures when he went to pick up Eggsy from the police station</p><p>Previously under the title: Harry just can't say no</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After Harry had been shot by Valentine, he had been touch and go for quite awhile. Getting shot in the head would normally kill most men, but, at the risk of sounding too high-handed, Harry Hart was not exactly most men. Weeks passed without him awakening from a coma, but on the day he did Harry was not alone. To his slight surprise it was not Merlin or a doctor or a nurse at his bedside, but Eggsy, looking a little worse for the wear. The boy looked haggard, and had a few painful looking scratches on his face that had obviously been much worse before they started healing. 

But all worrying thoughts about Eggsy's injuries and 'What the bloody hell happened while I was asleep' all flew away when Eggsy's eyes met Harry's and a beautiful beaming smile lit up his face.

"Harry," Eggsy breathed, and suddenly Harry was being kissed, quite nicely in fact, and he felt a blooming warmth encompass his heart as Eggsy kissed him eagerly and joyfully, muttering small things like "Idiot" and "What the fuck were you thinking going alone" all the while. Harry happily complied with Eggsy's kisses and kissed his boy, his boy, back just as fervently as Eggsy was kissing him. 

Sadly their reunion was cut short as a small team of medical professionals, and Merlin, bustled in. Harry actually hadn't noticed them until Merlin was pulling Eggsy off of Harry with a scoff. "You can do that later. In case you hadn't noticed, Galahad here has been in a coma for almost two months."

"Of course I fucking noticed! I've been in here ever since you told me he was alive you ass!" But Eggsy did at least have the decency to blush at Merlin's words. Harry, for all the world, honestly didn't care and would have been happy to continue kissing Eggsy. The doctors and nurses, and Merlin, apparently didn't agree and sent Eggsy off to wait outside while Harry was checked over. 

Harry sighed and settled back into the bed as Eggsy left, only looking at Merlin when the boy had left. "I don't see what all the fuss is about."

Merlin snorted and brought out his clipboard, "Really now? Would you like to see the video of you getting shot in the head by Valentine then? From your perspective or one of the cameras across the street? It's a great watch, blood everywhere and your almost dead body twitching on the ground."

Harry grimaced and looked away when Merlin began pulling up the video footage. "I don't need to see it, I was there after all."

"Well if you're calling your life threatening injuries small then apparently you weren't."

"I never said they were small."

"Mhmm," Merlin smiled softly and Harry glanced over at him again, taking a good look at his old friend. Merlin looked just as haggard as Eggsy had, sans the numerous facial wounds. The life of a Kingsman was not a safe one, Merlin knew that, but Harry still felt a small pinch of guilt at the tired look on his friend's face. 

"I'm assuming by the fact that I'm receiving medical attention and that you and Eggsy are still alive that Valentine failed in his mission?" Harry asked, trying to regain a small semblance of professionalism.

"That, or I made a deal with Valentine to save your life and these are the few medical professionals that survived the aftermath." Merlin said, stone-faced. Harry felt his face fall for a moment before Merlin smirked and said, "I'm just kidding with you. Eggsy and Roxy stopped him, with a little help from me. You would've been proud watching those two. Hell, Eggsy even got an offer from a Swedish princess."

At that Harry's face fell a little further. Despite the rather passionate kiss from Eggsy, Harry did feel a large amount of doubt and worry. Honestly he had felt something for the boy since he had met him again after all these years. But Harry thought his feelings would go quite unrequited, after all he was much older than Eggsy and Harry would be lying if that didn't make him nervous. Of course Eggsy would be receiving offers from others around his own age, and older if Harry was anything to go by. Eggsy was a handsome young man so it only made sense but the thought of him being wrapped in the arms of another felt like a punch to Harry's gut.

Harry was saved the trouble of worrying further when Merlin mentioned off-handedly, "He rejected her though. I was wondering why, she's was quite beautiful. I guessed he had someone else in mind and after that little display it looks like I was right." 

"You bastard."

Harry smiled and Merlin smiled back. "So, in light of very recent developments I'm putting you on no shagging for at least a month after you get out of here. And no doing it in the hospital either, god knows none of us need to walk in on that." Merlin's slightly disgusted face pulled a laugh out of Harry. 

"Merlin I never took you for such a prude!" Harry joked.

"I'm not, I just don't need to see you and the boy going at it like damn animals in heat. Do whatever you like in your own home, just don't do it here." Merlin said. 

"My own home?" Harry looked up at the ceiling and felt a small flash of inspiration hit him. "Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Is Eggsy still living with his mother and that other hideous man?" Harry asked.

"If you're talking about his stepfather, then no. Eggsy apparently took care of him close after he defeated Valentine. After everything that happened, Kingsman decided to take him on despite failing the dog test. He's been set up with a nice little allowance that allowed him to get his mum, sister, and him into a better home." Merlin answered, "Why did you want to know? Worried about the boy?"

"Something like that." Harry said.

Merlin looked like he was going to ask something else, but was interrupted by a doctor coming over and asking to speak with him. Merlin said goodbye to Harry, "But I'll be back to check on you later," and left with the doctor. 

Harry relaxed in the hospital bed (as much as he possibly could, the drugs were wearing off a bit and he could feel an annoying amount of pain working its way back into his body) and thought quietly. What he was planning might be a bit rushed, but after almost dying he wasn't exactly eager to draw things out. If Eggsy's mother and sister were safe and happy then Eggsy might...well, Harry would have to ask first. He did so hope that Eggsy would be agreeable to the idea.

____  


Harry popped the question to Eggsy a few days after he began to truly recover from his injuries. This meant that Harry was able to stay awake longer than a few minutes at a time. The longest he had managed to stay awake was the first time he had awoken to see Eggsy by his side; and even then that only lasted for fifteen minutes maximum. For the next few days he was constantly drifting in and out of consciousness as his injuries really began to catch up with him. A gunshot wound to the head, as Merlin had said, was no small thing after all.  


Despite his annoyance at being bed-ridden, Harry was taking a small amount of pleasure in it because it meant he got to spend more time with Eggsy. His Eggsy. Not some Swedish princess's Eggsy, but his, Harry Hart's.  


His boy had spent almost all of Harry's waking moments by his bedside, only occasionally being replaced by Merlin, and, surprisingly, Roxy (or rather Lancelot, after all she did pass the test). He was puzzled the first time he saw her there, but when Roxy noticed his gaze she just said, "I'm here because Eggsy is a mother hen and doesn't want you waking up alone. I can't let the git stay here all the time, else he would collapse and smell so bad he'd wake the dead in the morgue. So while he freshens up, you're stuck with me."  


Harry thanked her politely and they spent the rest of their time together in companionable silence until Eggsy came back, thus ending Roxy's visit.  


By the end of a week Harry was allowed to walk on his own, which he personally thought was ridiculous. "I was shot in the head, not the legs." He said to Eggsy.  


"Just being careful bruv. You've been bedridden for a long time." Eggsy watched anxiously as Harry teetered on his feet. It was almost enchanting to see him so worried over Harry.  


Harry attempted to take a step forward but felt his legs give way underneath him and he stumbled. He would have fallen if Eggsy hadn't been right there to catch him.  
"Harry! Are you alright?" Eggsy fussed. He immediately took Harry back to his bed where Harry sat down.  


Ok, so maybe Harry wasn't ready to go walking around the garden yet. But he would be damned if he wasn't going to at least get himself to the bathroom at least once today.  


"Harry?" Eggsy crouched to look into the older man's face, taking Harry's hands in his. Harry felt his heart beat just a little fast and thanked goodness he wasn't linked up to the heart monitor at the moment. He smiled softly at Eggsy and gave him a light kiss on the lips.  


"I'm alright Eggsy."  


Eggsy sighed, relieved. He made to let go of Harry's hands, but Harry gripped them a little tighter to show he wasn't ready to let go of Eggsy.  


"Eggsy," Harry started.  


"Yes?"  


"Would you," Harry cleared his throat, suddenly feeling nervous, "would you perhaps like to come home with me?"  


"Harry you aren't ready to go home yet." Eggsy said, looking cross.  


"That isn't what I meant Eggsy," Harry sighed, "What I mean is, would you like to move in with me?"  


Eggsy stepped back a little, looking surprised. Harry was really hoping it wasn't an unpleasant surprise. "I know we haven't talked much about us but I do care for you Eggsy, most ardently, and I want to have you close to me. I've asked Merlin about your family's situation and I know now that you've been taking care of your mother and sister and if you don't want to leave them I completely understand-" Harry rambled on, feeling very nervous all of a sudden. Eggsy wasn't saying anything, he was just staring at Harry. "-and if you want to, I mean I wouldn't mind you bringing JB or anything and I've been told I make a good flat mate and-"  


Harry was stopped when Eggsy put a hand over his mouth and began to laugh. Harry had a few moment to feel insulted until Eggsy removed his hand and kissed Harry again, peppering his lips with happy, light kisses.  


"I'll take that as a yes then?" Harry asked, feeling lightheaded.  


Eggsy said "Yes" before resuming his kissing, but this time with more fervor and lingering allowed. Harry pulled Eggsy closer and closed his eyes as they continued, the kisses becoming more open mouthed and heated. Harry almost groaned when he heard Eggsy making a soft whining noise, pushing himself closer into Harry's grasp.  


"No, stop that you two."  


Harry did actually groan this time, letting his head fall onto Eggsy's shoulder in a childish gesture. "Merlin, bugger off."  


Eggsy was looking around, "Merlin?"  


"The cameras, Eggsy." Harry explained with a sigh. He glared into one of the hospital cameras that littered the room. "Fuck off."  


"I told you earlier Harry, no strenuous activities until you're discharged."  


"Did he actually tell you that?" Eggsy whispered to Harry.  


"Not those words exactly, no." Harry, feeling rather pissed off, held Eggsy tighter, flipped the camera off, and resumed kissing Eggsy with fervor.  


"Oh, come on now Harry. Don't make me send in someone to stop you." Merlin sounded exasperated, but Harry could hear an underlying amount of amusement in his tone.  


Stubbornly Harry clung to Eggsy, but the moment had been broken, and Harry could feel Eggsy's mouth moving in laughter as they kissed. Harry sighed sadly and let go of Eggsy, but did it regretfully. Eggsy chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips before backing away. "Don't worry bruv, we'll have plenty of time for that later, yeah?"  


"Yes, of course." Harry agreed, albeit somewhat sourly.  


____  


Harry used to hate being on medical leave. It meant most of his time was spent laying around waiting for his body to heal, and even when he was discharged from the hospital he started going a little crazy just waiting to be allowed back into the field again. Merlin jokingly called him a workaholic, and Harry unfortunately found himself agreeing with that statement.  


Except that was in the past, and the present Harry now had Eggsy.  


Eggsy made medical leave more than tolerable, he made it so that Harry was actually enjoying his time off. Which was a miracle in of itself.  


When Harry was in the hospital, the boy had been by his side as much as he could possibly manage. As an active Kingsman Eggsy couldn't be there all the time, but he surprised Harry by coming by more often than he thought was possible.  


Harry had questioned Merlin about it one day when Merlin was busy on his clipboard. Merlin absentmindedly said "We aren't sure what position to give him yet, so he's been given a few tasks around town but nothing big until we're positive where we want him."  


"And where would that be?" Harry asked. Merlin briefly looked up from his clipboard and met Harry's gaze.  


"Well," he said lightly, "I suppose it depends on who takes on the mantle of Arthur."  


Oh.  


Harry hadn't asked again. It wasn't a conversation he was quite ready to have yet. At the moment he still held the position of Galahad, and that was alright. For now.  


And Eggsy seemed happy. So Harry was willing to let himself take the rare chance and just take the time he had been given to relax and not worry about anything. Which surprisingly lasted up until Eggsy moved into Harry's house.  


And then everything went to shit.  


It started with Eggsy's damn dog, the pug JB. Harry wasn't a man to hold grudges, it just wasn't the gentlemanly thing to do, but he did admit to himself that he did blame the dog for Eggsy not making it into Kingsman the first time around. But Eggsy seemed to have a thing for small animals, and loved JB dearly. So Harry put up with having the dog in his house, and grew accustomed to it during the first week of their cohabitation.  


Now if only it had been the one dog.  


The first new addition to their household came in the form of a cat. A dirty cat with matted fur, big dark eyes, and a back leg twisted at a painful looking angle. And then there was Eggsy, looking at Harry morosely, holding the creature like a little boy asking his parents to keep the poor thing.  


"Harry, some bloody teenagers were torturing it. Kept throwing rocks at the poor thing. I couldn't leave it alone." Eggsy said. The cat mewed pitifully and rubbed its head underneath Eggsy's chin. Harry could see by the expression on Eggsy's face that if he said no, he would be fighting a already lost battle.  


"I suppose we'll need to get it looked at. I think I still have Mr. Pickles veterinarian's number somewhere. Suppose I should give them up a call?" Harry asked.  


The brilliant smile on Eggsy's face and passionate kiss he gave Harry was worth it.  


Eggsy appropriately named the cat Eliza. After getting her in the bath at the veterinarian (which took three people to do) it was revealed she had beautiful white fur under all the dirt. She got a splint for her leg, and promptly declared herself mistress of the household when JB attempted to growl at her and she hissed right back, forcing the pug to back down.  


"Do you think they'll fight a lot?" Eggsy asked Harry, looking at them concerned.  


"No, I believe they'll get along marvelously after some time." Harry almost wanted to laugh as JB slunk away from Eliza.  


"I hope you're right." Eggsy said.  


"Don't worry love. JB will manage to work his way into her heart eventually, he does that with everyone. Acts a little grumpy at first, but he's a big sweetheart and he can't hide it. He's like his master in that aspect."  


Eggsy snorted, but given the way he squeezed Harry's hand, Harry assumed no offense was taken.  


"Thanks Harry. I know taking in strays is a little off, but I've always felt bad for those animals. Maybe I just relate to them or something." Eggsy said. Harry leaned down and kissed Eggsy.

"It's alright, as long as it's just the one." Harry murmured.

"Yeah, just the one." Eggsy agreed. 

Harry couldn't believe he fooled himself into believing Eggsy's words.


	2. Chapter 2

True to Harry's words, JB eventually did worm his way into Eliza's heart over time, in a way. She stopped hissing at the dog when it wandered to close to her, and occasionally Eliza would allow JB to curl up in the sun with her to take a nap. But Eliza preferred to live a more solitary life in the household, appearing for food and petting when she needed it, and disappearing off somewhere when she didn't.

These behaviors seemed to worry Eggsy. "Do you think she doesn't like it here?" He asked Harry one morning.

Harry looked up from his paper to see Eggsy nervously biting his lip as he watched Eliza and JB eat their breakfast. Eliza's fluffy white tail was swishing back and forth as she ate. "I think she's content." Harry said.

"But she's never around us or JB much." Eggsy sighed and brushed his fingers through his hair.

"Some cats are solitary creatures." When Eggsy didn't look convinced Harry put down his paper and softly took Eggsy's hand in his own. "Eggsy, listen to me. Some cats prefer to be off on their own, others enjoy attention at almost all hours. Rather like JB, those cats are. Eliza is fine, she's happy here, I'm sure. Better than living on the streets." Harry caressed Eggsy's hand and raised it so Harry could kiss his palm. Almost a month of living together and Harry was positive he would never get over being able to touch Eggsy as a lover.

Eggsy sighed again, but he leaned in and kissed Harry's cheek. "Thanks Harry."

"You're most welcome, love."

Eggsy moved closer to Harry and sat on the older man's lap, curling up close to Harry. Eggsy kissed Harry's neck. "I just wish," Eggsy murmured, "that JB had a friend to play with."

The warning signs were there but Harry was in such a blissful state that he didn't even notice.

* * *

That morning's conversation was all but forgotten in the romantic aftermath but it all came screeching back only two days later when Harry came back home one evening. It had been a long day at the office, Harry was still not well enough to go out in the field, and was stuck doing paperwork and entertaining himself by watching Merlin interact with the new recruits to replace the Kingsman lost in the fight with Valentine. There were a few promising candidates, including the two Eggsy and Roxy had nominated. But Merlin getting the recruits into shape could only amuse for so long before papers that demanded Harry's attention were placed on his desk in hordes.

Harry unlocked the front door and walked into the entryway. He had placed his coat and umbrella away before he heard it.

_Peep! Peep! Peep!_

It sounded like some sort of bird. Frowning, Harry walked into the living room and saw Eggsy leaning over something on the floor. "Eggsy?"

Eggsy jumped, and looked over his shoulder almost guiltily. "Harry! You're back! Um, welcome home!"

Harry raised his eyebrow and gave Eggsy a stern look. "Eggsy, what's making that noise?"

Eggsy smiled awkwardly. "You remember that conversation we had a few mornings ago?" Harry nodded, looking suspiciously at Eggsy. "Well..." Eggsy turned around and revealed a yellow puffball in his hands. Harry leaned in, slightly confused until the puffball peeped and shook itself.

"Is that," Harry leaned back, "a duckling?" Eggsy nodded and held up the little animal eagerly, almost like a peace offering. Harry groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Eggsy...why?" He asked, as if the story really mattered.

Harry was truly only giving Eggsy half of his attention as he stared at the small pile of fluff nuzzling itself into Eggsy's cupped hands. Eggsy was spinning some story about finding the poor mite far away from any pond or park. "And I couldn't just leave him there!" Eggsy protested. No, of course Eggsy wouldn't have left the creature there. "Who knows where his mum and siblings are now. I searched Harry, I really did. But I couldn't find anything." Eggsy gently patted the duckling's head and it let out another soft peep.

And of course the best choice was to adopt the little thing and bring it back home. Of course. "Eggsy do you have any idea of how to take care of a duck?" Harry asked first.

"No." Eggsy said truthfully, "But I'll make sure to learn! I've known people to keep ducks as pets, they do it on farms right? Can't be that hard."

Right. Next worry then. "And if we do keep this duckling, what's to say Eliza won't eat him?"

Eggsy looked appalled at the idea but Harry kept his neutral expression in place. Harry may not know much about cats, but he knew that most cats, especially strays, would probably view the duckling as a delicious meal rather than a cuddly friend.

"She won't." Eggsy stroked the duckling, "She wouldn't."

JB chose that moment to come up and start sniffing the duckling. While worried about the cat, Harry wasn't quite as nervous about the duckling being around the pug. JB was essentially harmless unless Eggsy fed him something he shouldn't have. Then JB was placed outside the house until the next morning when his bowels had the time to, ahem, cleanse themselves. Eggsy obviously felt the same way as he held out the duckling for JB to take a closer look at. Appearing satisfied with the creature, JB licked it twice, snorted, and looked up at Eggsy while wagging his tail.

Eggsy smiled, "See there? JB will take care of his new bruv, won't you boy?"

"Eggsy, I do remember our conversation but I highly doubt this little duckling will be a good companion for JB." Harry said.

"He'll be fine when he's grown! JB's a small dog, the duck will be almost as big as him when he's had the chance to get a little bigger!"

Harry was almost saddened by this conversation. There was no question now that Eggsy was going to adopt the duckling, if there had ever been any question in the first place. Eggsy looked adoringly at the little thing. Harry would feel like a monster if he insisted on getting rid of it. "Very well, but don't blame me if Eliza finds him a delicious morsel." Harry said. Eggsy gave him another appalled look, but it was quickly replaced by one of delight.

"Thanks Harry." Eggsy got up, still carefully cradling the duckling, and walked out of the room quietly murmuring to it.

It was just a duckling. A duckling, a cat, and a dog. A little odd. But their house wasn't becoming a zoo, Harry comforted himself.

* * *

Eggsy wanted to name the duckling Percy but changed it to Pearl once he figured out 'he' was in fact a 'she.' Quite frankly Harry thought it was ridiculous to bother with the creature's name- "After all it's not like the duck's going to care." But Eggsy argued for the name change. Not for any particular reason except "She's the prettiest little pearl I ever saw."

"Does that include the La Peregrina pearl we saw last week?" Harry asked.

Eggsy made a face at him, "That ugly old thing holds nothing in comparison to this precious pearl." He cooed as he fed Pearl.

"That 'ugly old thing' has a history that spans over five hundred years and has been owned by some of the most illustrious European royalty." Harry said. Eggsy rolled his eyes and continued to give Pearl some of the fruit that had been chopped up for her.

That had been the end of the conversation on Pearl's name.

Like Eliza, after a small adjustment time Pearl fit into the household quite comfortably. JB took to the little duckling swimmingly, and even though Pearl obviously saw Eggsy as the sun, moon, and stars ("Do I need to worry about another woman Eggsy?" Harry had joked. Eggy laughed and said "Aww, Harry you know you're the only one for me.") she appeared to enjoy JB's attentions. "He spoils her." Eggsy said after watching the two little animals fall asleep together. "He even lets her sleep in his bed. JB didn't let Eliza do that."

"Eliza wouldn't have wanted to sleep in his bed anyways." Harry pointed out, "Smells to much like dog for her comfort."

Eggsy made a small noise when Pearl peeped in her sleep and snuggled closer to JB. "They're just _too much_." Eggsy leaned down and snapped a photo of the pair. "They are rather adorable." Harry agreed, "But I'm afraid we're going to have to leave them for a bit. Merlin wants to speak with us down at headquarters."

Eggsy straightened up and looked over at Harry. "Anything serious?"

"I don't know. Merlin sounded a little strained over the phone, but he didn't signal to me that he was in distress. I assume it's nothing pressing." Harry shrugged on his jacket and offered to help Eggsy into his. Eggsy gave JB and Pearl a quick pet goodbye, and called out a farewell to Eliza who had disappeared again. Eggsy allowed Harry to help him into his jacket, and gave him one last quick kiss before they left the house. It was so domestic that Harry felt his heart melt a little from the warmth.

* * *

When they arrived at headquarters, Harry immediately heard Merlin's curses being shouted. "You damned-no, give that to me! Drop it!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Harry asked as he and Eggsy stepped into the room.

"Harry, thank god- don't let it escape!" Merlin shouted as a green thing came scurrying at them. Luckily Eggsy's reflexes were good, and he quickly grabbed the thing and picked it up. "The damn thing got off its leash and wouldn't go back into the cage." Merlin grabbed what looked like a large lizard and hauled it away from Eggsy.

"Merlin- _explain_." Harry said.

Merlin sighed and slammed the cage door shut after shunting the lizard inside. It snapped at his fingers and Merlin jerked back. "It's," Merlin groaned and sat down, looking exhausted, "it's the old Arthur's pet iguana."

"I beg your pardon?" Harry asked incredulously.

"You heard me right Harry. Apparently the old Arthur had a pet iguana. We didn't know about it because he had left it with a pet sitter during V-Day and she was only recently able to get in contact with us."

"Alright then, but why is it _here_?"

"Some of the younger folk thought Arthur might have left something important with it. On its collar or something." Merlin explained. Harry frowned, "Why the hell would they think that?"

"Probably saw 'Men In Black' recently." Eggsy suggested off to the side. He was looking at the iguana curiously. "You know, one of my mates had a iguana for a pet once. The thing was almost like a dog, he walked it and everything."

"Yeah, well obviously there's nothing on this guy and we don't know what to do with him." Merlin swung around in his chair to look at Eggsy.

"Then why did you call us?" Harry asked.

"I heard you and Eggsy were starting a zoo in your home. Figured you wouldn't mind taking in another creature for a little while. Until you can find him a home or something."

Harry glared daggers at Merlin who had a smug grin on his face. Harry opened his mouth to offer a sharp retort but was stopped by Eggsy eagerly saying "Hell yeah we'll take him! He'll fit right in!"

"No, Eggsy, no he will not. Put that cage down right now." Harry commanded. Eggsy didn't and instead clutched the cage firmly in his hands. "Harry, come on. He's got nowhere else to go!"

"That doesn't mean he has to come with us!" Harry said exasperatedly. "He's a lizard, he'll end up eating the rest of the animals if Eliza doesn't eat him first!"

Eggsy scoffed. "Shows what you know about animals Harry. Iguana's have a strictly vegetarian diet...I think. My mate only fed his fruits and veggies so I think this guy has gotta be the same. Plus he's too big for Eliza to eat!" Eggsy began marching out of the room, ignoring Harry's stuttered protests.

"The iguana's name is Bond by the way!" Merlin called after Eggsy, "James Bond if you'll believe it. Old Arthur wasn't very creative with names apparently." Harry scoffed and, in a quite ungentlemanly way, kicked Merlin's chair from beneath him on his way out.

It still didn't make Merlin's laughter smart any less as Harry ran after Eggsy and the newest member of their household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is unbeta-d so any mistakes are my own and I apologize for them
> 
> The top picks were duckling and lizard with three votes. The current standings you can now pick from are:  
> Squirrel: 2  
> Rat: 2  
> Fox: 1  
> Squirrel Monkey: 1  
> Bunny: 2  
> Ferret: 1  
> Peacock: 1  
> Pangolin: 1
> 
> I deeply appreciate ffaddict for assisting me with animal behaviors and everything else. Your help was truly valuable and helped me to finish the chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter. To make up for it this one is a little longer. It took me listening to a lot of piano music to get this one done. (For some reason piano music helps me work)  
> All of my love and thanks to fandomidjits for helping me with the animal behavior, and to elletromil who helped me when I couldn't figure out these characters. 
> 
> Current Animal Votes:  
> Squirrel: 1  
> Rat: 3  
> Squirrel Monkey: 2  
> Squirrel: 1  
> Bunny(next up): 7  
> Ferret: 4  
> Peacock: 4  
> Pangolin: 2 (endangered/die in captivity of stress?)  
> Hedgehog: (illegal?) 2  
> Wolf puppy (husky mix): 1
> 
> Current Animals: Cat named Eliza  
> Dog named JB  
> Duckling named Pearl  
> Iguana named James Bond  
> Fox named Pudding (yes after the friendly fox posted on Tumblr)

While Harry got along fairly well with Eggy’s other pets, it was safe to say that James Bond the iguana liked Harry as much as he enjoyed its company. Which is to say, not at all.

Oh, Eggsy and the reptile got along peachy. Harry was beginning to believe Merlin’s jokes about Eggsy being a Disney princess were true. (Eggsy had laughed when he heard those and asked Harry if he understood the joke. Harry had seen Snow White and Cinderella thank you very much and knew quite what Merlin was on about.) Animals just seemed to flock to him and adored the ground Eggsy walked on. The iguana was no exception. It seemed to enjoy clambering all over Eggsy and would even fall asleep in his lap when Eliza or JB wasn’t using it.

Harry on the other hand, well, he stayed clear of James Bond when the creature hissed and nipped at his hand when Harry attempted to feed the creature once when Eggsy was upstairs taking a shower. After that Harry refused to get anywhere near the reptile. He had already lost one of his eyes and was quite hesitant to lose any other pieces of himself.

Eggsy already joked that he looked like a pirate with the eyepatch, and Harry would prefer not to have a hook for a hand to match.

Except for a dislike for Harry, James Bond, whose name was immediately shortened to James, appeared to fit well into the house. Eggsy had been hesitant to let the iguana interact with the rest of the household and kept the iguana in a separate room for a few days. However Eliza sensed something was amiss when she realized she didn’t have complete run of the house anymore, causing her to promptly begin scratching and howling at the closed off room.

This prompted Eggsy to hurriedly set up a meeting for all the animals of the household. Despite his confidence when first taking in the animal, during the meet and greet Eggsy set up precautions. Precautions Harry found rather ridiculous.

James was put in the center of the living room with a puppy barrier set up around him. Nervous about letting all of the animals meet each other at once, Eggsy placed Pearl, Eliza, and JB in the upstairs bedroom and brought them down one by one to meet James.

“But who should I bring down first you think?” Eggsy asked Harry. “Eliza’s kind of the leader of the pack, but JB’s friendlier.”

“Not Pearl first then?” Harry said mildly.

“I don’t think so. JB or Eliza would be a better start...” Eggsy frowned and tapped his lips, looking at the three animals standing before him.

“Go ahead and take Eliza then. If she approves of him then the rest will follow suit, I assume.” Eggsy shrugged in agreement with Harry’s word and picked up Eliza.

“Alright girl, I need you to behave. James has been through a lot lately and if you could all get along that would be smashing.” Eggsy muttered to Eliza as they made their way downstairs. Whether or not she understood him, Eliza let out a small purr and Eggsy smiled at her. “That’s my girl.”

Even though Harry had been encouraging, he was expecting all-out war between the cat and lizard. He was tense, ready to jump in and grab one of the animals if things went bad (hopefully he would grab Eliza and not James).

Eliza’s purring stopped as soon as she caught sight of James. Her eyes narrow and her tail flicked back and forth anxiously. Eggsy could feel her claws kneading his jacket; he sent up one last prayer before placing Eliza on the floor next to the small barrier.

“Eliza, this is James Bond. He’s, hopefully, going to be staying with us from now on.” Eggsy said. He reached down and patted James, trying to show Eliza that the lizard was ok. “See, he’s friendly?”

Both creatures observed each other for a heartbeat. They stared at one and other through the bars separating them. Then, Eliza waltzed up and raised her paw. What she was about to do after that was left to be unknown because a sudden crashing noise from upstairs made everyone in the living room jump.

JB was barking and bolting down the stairs as fast as his stubby little legs could take him. Pearl, unable to keep up, was making loud noises at the top of the stairs.

“Harry I thought you shut the door!” Eggsy frantically tried to grab at JB. James hissed and backed away from the barking dog. Eliza somehow managed to look unimpressed even though her fur was bristling.

“I did!” Harry bolted up the steps to grab Pearl, only to get shouted at when he began bringing her downstairs. “Harry, no! Don’t bring her down here!”

Pearl couldn’t keep up the loud noise with her little lungs but she was doing her damn best to be as loud as JB. Harry was slightly worried the poor thing might pass out from all the noise she was making. “Ow!” And now she was beginning to peck at his hands.

“JB, stop it! No you-Eliza no!” Harry twisted around just in time to see Eliza leap over the puppy barrier and pad over to James. “Damnit! Harry hold JB! Eliza, come here girl!”

Excellent. Now Harry had two screeching animals in his arms. He attempted to adjust JB while still holding Pearl in his other hand. Unfortunately this was impossible to do with a squirmy dog and JB tumbled out of Harry’s arm and onto the floor. While JB was unable to jump the barrier like Eliza, that didn’t mean he couldn’t circle around to the edge where James had currently positioned himself. Eggsy stumbled when JB ran past him, and he fell to the ground. “Eggsy, are you alright?”

“Mmfine!”

James hissed and seemed unable to figure out which way to turn. To Harry it appeared as though he was debating about fighting the cat or the dog. It looked like one or more of Eggsy’s animals was about to be seriously harmed and for a moment Harry felt a touch of sheer panic. Lord knows he didn’t exactly like all of them animals but he would be lying if he didn’t say he wasn’t fond of them. Having one of them hurt would be very, very bad.

Before either Eggsy or Harry could make a move Eliza let out the loudest _yowl_ that Harry had ever heard from her.

JB and James immediately froze. Pearl let out a few more peeps before settling into the palm of Harry’s hand.

The queen of the household gave a disdainful sniff. Eliza closed the last few steps between her and James, and curiously batted his head. Still shocked, James didn’t do much more than flinch. Somehow this seemingly pleased Eliza, and she put her face close to the lizard’s, butted her head against his and rubbed their faces together for a moment before backing away. Now content, Eliza sniffed at James a few more times before gracefully leaping back out of the barrier and padding away from the scene.

Calmed, JB also gave James a hearty sniff. He, like Eliza, didn’t seem terribly bothered by what he smelled. He even licked James once (although he really licked the barrier bars more) before following Eliza’s lead and leaving Eggsy and Harry standing in the living room, still shocked.

Eggsy looked at Harry.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. A grin twitched on his face. “Her royal highness has spoken. The beast can stay.”

Eggsy groaned and let himself flop back onto the floor.

It had been quite the little adventure. Although Harry found himself amused by the memory of the incident, he would still rather take on fifty outside agents rather than go through _that_ again. Eggsy seemed to be of the same mind, except he still worried over the relationships between the animals sometimes. After the first meet and greet, James still took a little while to adapt into the household. But that was due to his own personality rather than Eliza, JB, or Pearl’s. Still a little nervous from their first interaction, James would prefer to keep to himself over messing with the rest of the house’s inhabitants.

After a time, James actually reminded Harry of Eliza. Both preferred to keep to themselves, but still desired attention and love (mostly from Eggsy). James and Eliza enjoyed being in the sun; Eggsy was delighted the first time he saw them sharing a sun spot, he took it to be a sign that James was finally adapting to their home. And they both were slightly more aloof than JB or Pearl. In his mind, Harry amused himself by assigning them royal roles. Eliza was the queen, JB the court jester, Pearl the princess, and James would perhaps be an earl. Although the next time the lizard hissed at Harry, he swore he was lowering James’ rank.

Nevertheless, after the first meeting all appeared to be relatively well. The household was running smoothly and all of the animals seemed to be getting along. Which of course meant Eggsy had to throw another problem into the mix.

That problem was a wild fox.

Harry noticed something was off within two days of Eggsy finding the fox. Frankly, he was disappointed in himself for taking so long to notice.

Eggsy was acting jittery. He kept looking up at Harry as if there was something he wanted to say, before looking back down again. Harry caught him looking outside more than once, as if he was expecting something. However, what really sealed the deal was Harry opened their fridge and found a large container of frozen mice.

“Eggsy, what is this?” Harry confronted him, holding out the container.

Eggsy froze and a guilty look flashed over his face. “Uh. Mice?”

“I don’t suppose they’re for Eliza are they?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, about that…they’re for, uh, Pudding.”

“Pudding? You mean the treat that is meant for humans to consume?” Harry asked incredulously.

More awkward shuffling from Eggsy. “Ah, no. Not the food pudding. Pudding the fox.”

Oh good lord. Harry closed his eyes and counted slowly to three. “Eggsy.”

“Yes Harry?”

“Please tell me there is not a fox hidden somewhere in this house.”

“I can tell you that. He’s technically hidden outside the house.” Eggsy said.

“Eggsy! We cannot have a pet fox! It’s a wild creature and cannot be allowed in this household. They need room to run around. Pudding, as you call it, will certainly not have the space it requires.”

“Are you kidding? The house is huge and the backyard is fucking enormous!”

“Eggsy, we cannot take in the fox. That’s final.” Harry said.

“Harry, no! Come on, he was starving and injured just came up to me all sweet and I just had to help him!”

“Eggsy if you adopt every single pitiable animal on the street we won’t have any room in the house! I allowed the others but this I will not!” Harry’s patience snapped.

Eggsy started, mouth agape. “You allowed? You make it sound like you’re barely tolerating our pets!”

“They’re not our pets Eggsy, they’re yours! I’m permitting them since you seem to love them so, but a fox is simply too much Eggsy.” Harry knew as soon as he opened his mouth he was going to regret was he said. But his temper and patience had been stretched thin. Maybe it was because James refused to let Harry anywhere near him and treated Harry as an enemy in his own home. Maybe it was because JB refused to stop barking at any squirrel that dared to run across their yard. Whatever happened with the animals, the fox was the last straw.

Eggsy bit his lip and glared at Harry. Guilt crept into Harry’s core but he refused to back down.

 “No.” Eggsy ground out. Harry opened his mouth to respond but Eggsy was already stomping away. Harry almost called him back, but as soon as Eggsy left the room Harry’s anger promptly left him.

Harry sighed and sat on the couch. Helping those in need was a part of Eggsy’s being. It was one of the many things Harry loved about him.

That argument had been…ungentlemanly. It seemed that Eggsy had that effect on Harry. He took everything Harry had known and felt and spun it right around. A gentleman would have had a calmer discussion, ending with both parties coming to a mutual agreement. Instead Harry blasted off his feelings and Eggsy was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck.” Harry closed his eyes and leaned further backwards into the couch. When was the last time he argued with someone like that? Funnily enough, Harry was sure it had been with Eggsy. Right after he refused to shoot JB and before Harry went ahead and got himself shot. Then Eggsy went and finished Valentine off as Harry lay in the hospital between life and death. And after…Eggsy had remained at his bedside as Harry recovered. Helped Harry adjust to his new life with one eye. Moved in with Harry and was in his bed curled next to him after a great round of sex. Beautiful in every way.

Harry was going to break down and apologize first, wasn’t he?

Harry groaned. Yes. Yes he was.

Hopefully Eggsy hadn’t left the house. Harry hadn’t heard any doors slamming shut, and while Eggsy was an excellent agent being sneaky (especially when angry) wasn’t his strongest trait. Roxy beat him in stealth every time.

A quick search of the house revealed Eggsy had in fact not left the premises, but instead locked himself in the bedroom. Harry paused for a minute, thinking about what to say, before knocking on the door.

“Eggsy?” Harry heard some shifting, but nothing else.

He knocked again. “Eggsy, please, let me in so we can speak.”

More shuffling and then a brief “Go away.”

Harry could pick the lock. Or he could knock down the door. He was seriously tempted to do it to. But he didn’t want to invade Eggsy’s privacy, or damage the door. If he did such a thing Eggsy might not trust him again.

Instead Harry leaned against the door and continued to speak. “Eggsy, I’m sorry.” He paused for a moment, and when no response came Harry went on, “I really am. The house has been…hectic ever since you started bringing in animals. I feel as though we barely have control on the ones we have and bringing in another, a wild fox no less, would make things worse.”

Harry took a deep breath. “I want to talk to you about this further. I am sorry for the way I acted. I’ll be waiting downstairs when you’re ready to talk.” He turned away and began walking down the hall. As the saying went, the ball was in Eggsy’s court now.  Harry would have to wait for him to make a move.

He didn’t have to wait long. Before Harry even made it halfway down the stairs, he heard the click of a lock and the bedroom door being opened. Harry paused, unsure of whether he should go back or continue downstairs. He turned around, just to take a look back, and saw Eggsy standing at the top of the stairs with JB looking content in his arms.

“We can talk now.” Eggsy said.

Despite his assumed confidence, Harry felt off balance. He tried not to show it and simply asked “Do you want to talk downstairs?” Eggsy shrugged in assent and put JB on the ground before following Harry downstairs.

They were both awkwardly quiet. Harry sat across from Eggsy at the kitchen table, waiting for Eggsy to say something. Harry had said his piece, and he was hoping Eggsy wasn’t expecting him to say anything further…was he? Did Harry need to apologize again?

“Eggsy-”

“Harry-”

Both fell silent again. Harry cleared his throat nervously and gestured for Eggsy to resume speaking. “Sorry, go ahead.”

“I-” Eggsy looked like he was struggling “…I’m sorry too. I didn’t think-I know you don’t get along with Eliza, Pearl, JB, and James like I do. Especially James.”

Harry nodded, listening as Eggsy went on. “And I know they’re a handful. They don’t always behave well; I probably need to train them better, and I will Harry. I promise. I’ll start today.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Harry commented. Eggsy bobbed his head in mindless agreement. “But, the fox?”

Eggsy gripped his hands together nervously. “Harry, Pudding is really sweet. I know foxes are wild animals but I did some research and technically they could be kept as pets. And I think Pudding might have been domesticated at one point. I’ve seen wild foxes Harry, and Pudding doesn’t act like one…not entirely.”

“What does that mean?” Harry asked.

“Pudding, he’s, well, skittish like an abandoned pet. I haven’t brought him in the house, but he won’t let himself get within ten feet of it. Remember when we tried to get JB a doghouse for outside but he never used it? I took it out of the garage and Pudding seems to enjoy sleeping in there sometimes. He doesn’t always use it, and he isn’t always around. I think now that his wound had gotten a little better he’s trying to hunt again. But he doesn’t seem to be terribly good at it.”

“Is this your roundabout way of telling me that Pudding would be staying outside?”

“I know you don’t like the idea of having a fox around Harry. And if you really want, I can call up some wildlife places or whoever might take a fox and I’ll see if we can get Pudding somewhere safe. I just don’t want to abandon him.” Eggsy fell silent. He stared at Harry, eyes pleading.

Good god, Harry was in trouble. He couldn’t say no to this boy, could he? “Pudding can stay, _but_ ,” Harry added when Eggsy’s breath hitched, “only for now. Call it a trial run. And you have to train the others better. And-”

“Oh come on Harry, you’re killing me.” Eggsy said.

“ _And_ ,” Harry gave Eggsy a pointed look, “if you feel so inclined to pick up any more strays, discuss it with me first.”

Eggsy didn’t even hesitate. “That sounds fair to me. I would just like to make one addition.” Harry raised his eyebrows. “I want you to help me with their training.” Harry opened his mouth but Eggsy interrupted “I _know._ I brought them in, they’re my responsibility. But I really think it would be good for you and the animals if you were at least there while I’m training them.”

It seemed agreeable. Harry didn’t enjoy training animals much, after all he never got another dog after Mr. Pickles (even though he grew to adore the pup training it had been hell). But he could see the benefits of assisting Eggsy a small amount. If Eggsy was ever away for a long period of time, which was likely with their jobs as Kingsman, Harry would need to be able to keep a strong grip on the household so hell didn’t descend upon them.

“Very well. I agree to your terms.”

“And I agree to yours.” Eggsy smiled and leaned in, kissing Harry briefly. “Sealed with a kiss and all that.”

“I do believe that’s letters and not contracts Eggsy.”

“Really? That’s too bad, I think I prefer it this way.” Eggsy got up, went round the table and plopped himself into Harry’s lap.

“You prefer it when it’s me.” Harry said. Eggsy smiled and hummed in agreement, leaning down to seal the contract again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you all so much for your support of this series! I’m about done with it, so I’m giving you a choice. You can pick between either a ferret, peacock, or hedgehog to be the next animal. Then I want you all to think of some animal that’s rare/endangered that Eggsy can pick up on a mission. Those will be the last two animals of the series.
> 
> …Apparently you are a bad pet owner if you only own one duck. They get way too attached to you and get very upset if you aren’t around 24/7. And no lie, my mom came across a dog trainer who told owners to hang their dogs by their leashes if they weren't behaving. Never went back to that person again. (Sadly it was a looooooong time ago and she didn't know if she could report it or who she could even report the trainer to. Hopefully someone did and they're out of business)
> 
> Current: Cat named Eliza  
> Dog named JB  
> Duckling named Pearl  
> Iguana named James Bond  
> Fox named Pudding   
> Bunny named ???

Harry and Eggsy’s agreement on the animal situation was working out rather well. During their time off of Kingsman jobs (Harry was still on hiatus for injuries and Eggsy had taken time off to take care of Harry), both Harry and Eggsy worked with the animals. To Eggsy’s credit, he threw himself into the training. If he hadn’t become a Kingsman agent, Harry was positive the boy could have made a good life working as a veterinarian or some other job that required working closely with animals. Eggsy was patient with all of them. He continuously researched different training methods for each of the animals and used those he thought to be best. However, Harry could have done without the constant running commentary of his research.

 

“Bloody hell Harry!” Eggsy swore, “This prick thinks you should use the dogs leash as a hang noose when they’re misbehaving! Fucking-where the fuck does this ass live.”

 

“Oi, Harry lookit this. Apparently we should be handling Pearl a little bit more. And, er, sorry but apparently we can’t potty train her. Ducks just go without thinking about it.”

 

“Do you think we should get an outdoor enclosure for Pudding? He keeps getting out of the backyard and I don’t like the idea of him wandering close to the roads.”

 

Pudding the fox was still on his trial period, but even Harry was pretty sure in the end he would allow the fox to stay. Like Bond, Pudding didn’t really take to anyone buy Eggsy. However he was less evil than Bond was (Eggsy could protest all he wanted, that iguana was a hateful creature), and just tried to stay away from Harry. This suited Harry fine as he found himself completely distracted by the other inhabitants of the household.

 

JB wasn’t impossible to train, although he could have easily lead Harry to believe it. Eggy had gotten most of JB’s basic training out of the way during the Kingsman trials. Although Eggsy did confess to Harry his struggles of doing so.

 

“Damn Harry, sometimes I wish I had picked the poodle. JB’s great and all but he’s a stubborn little blockhead.”

 

JB was indeed one of the most stubborn dogs Harry had ever had the misfortune to meet. If JB felt like doing something, excellent! He would learn quickly and didn’t forget the commands. But if JB was in a mood, then nothing on earth would move that dog to do anything. With JB training was all about timing. Harry could handle that. It was no worse than training cocky new Kingsman recruits.

 

Eliza, well, surprisingly Eliza didn’t really need training. She knew how to use a litterbox, not to scratch the furniture, and would wait calmly for her food in the morning. Like JB, Eliza had her moody moments. But when those came upon her, Eliza preferred to excuse herself from everyone’s company and go off alone somewhere. Other than that, Eliza just needed some time to get used to new people/animals. All of this seemed fine to Harry, but it bothered Eggsy.

 

“She must have had a previous owner.” Eggsy said. “Eliza’s been too well behaved to be a stray cat.”

 

Eggsy had a dark, angry look on his face. “And you think they abandoned her.” Harry guessed.

 

“Abandoned or abused. She was in a bad way when I found her, no good pet owner would ever let their cat get into that state.”

 

Whatever Eliza’s case was, even though she remained well behaved Eggsy was careful to give her plenty of attention. Beyond basic manners, Eggy and Harry were attempting to teach Eliza how to sit and stay. Eggsy brought up the idea of teaching her how to use the toilet, but Harry immediately put a stop to that plan by stating firmly that the litterbox was just fine.

 

And lastly there was Pearl, who to both Eggsy and Harry’s surprise was becoming a large problem. Other than the poo problem (which was solved with duck diapers) Pearl was becoming a handful. She had been in their lives for over three weeks and was growing as they expected her to. However, there was really no other explanation for it, Pearl was becoming depressed. If Eggsy was gone for the day, usually visiting his mother and sister, then she waddled all over the house quacking loudly, agitating every other inhabitant. When Eggsy was home she was all over him, but was still rather listless compared to when Eggsy first got her.

 

The answer to Pearl’s depression came rather quickly when Eggsy was doing research.

 

“Fuck!” Eggsy said. “Fuck!”

 

“What is it?” Harry came over worriedly. He reached out and rubbed at one of Eggsy’s tense shoulders.

“It was right in front of me all along Harry. I’m an idiot.” Eggsy pointed at the computer screen. “I had no idea. No fucking clue and now I’ve screwed everything up.”

 

Harry read the text and frowned.

 

“I can’t believe I fucked up this badly.” Eggsy groaned.

 

Harry didn’t think it was all that bad, but Eggsy’s worry wasn’t unfounded. According to the report, ducks needed at least one other duck to socialize with to be happy. Apparently ‘Ducks are extremely emotional. If you raise one duck and that duck depends on you, you can’t leave him or her alone for even one day without the duck missing you and getting upset, depressed, or scared when you’re gone. Don’t do that to a duck. Ducks need duck friends.’ (PETA website).

 

“I can’t leave on a Kingsman mission and leave Pearl alone! She’ll be devastated!” Eggsy thumped his head onto the keyboard.

 

“I don’t see how this is a problem.” Harry responded.

 

Eggsy raised his head and looked at Harry astounded. “Not a-how the hell is this not a problem?”

 

“We just need to get Pearl another duck friend. I’m sure we can find one easily enough.” Harry thought for a moment before adding, “And we should get an enclosure built for them. Maybe something outside.” So they could stop buying the duck diapers. Harry really wanted to stop buying those. Merlin had accesses to all Kingsman bank accounts and hearing him laughing over the phone about duck diapers put Harry into a foul mood.

 

Eggsy continued to look shocked at Harry. Harry simply raised an eyebrow and waited for Eggsy to speak.

 

“Is that ok with you?” Eggsy asked. “I mean, I know we’ve got a lot on our hands already and Pudding is still on probation…”

 

Harry shrugged, “I don’t mind. _But_ if we are getting another duck, I really do want an outdoor enclosure for them.” So he could reclaim some of his house at least.

 

Eggsy beamed at Harry and launched himself into his arms. “I love you.” Harry wobbled for a moment before righting himself. “And I adore you.” Harry said.

 

 

This time Harry was the one to find the new addition. One of the few Kingsman who managed to live to retirement had taken over an old farm somewhere in the countryside. Harry hadn’t been sure if ducks lived on the farm or not, but a quick call solved the question. Within two days a new, and slightly older, duck arrived at his home.

 

“Jonathan said her name is Claire, and she’s a few weeks older than Pearl.” Harry said while watching Eggsy handle Claire. Claire wasn’t a wild duck, and Jonathan mentioned hand raising her since she hatched. “She’s been around other ducks plenty and is pretty friendly so hopefully she should get along well with Pearl.” Harry repeated what Jonathan told him.

 

“Hello there Claire.” Eggsy tentatively patted Claire’s feathers. Claire quacked back and ruffled her wings.

 

Intrigued by the quack, Pearl waddled into the room. She cocked her head and sized up Claire before emitting a loud quack in return.

 

Claire stuck her neck out and pecked at Pearl’s head. Pearl skittered back, only to move forward again, and then skittered back once more. Harry watched, amused, as Pearl continued this dance for a little longer before finally deciding to approach Claire once again.

 

The second approach went better. Pearl’s little duck tail was waggling, and Claire’s feathers weren’t standing on end anymore. Eggsy lightened his touch on Claire and allowed her to move closer to Pearl. The two ducks waddled around each other for a little longer, quacking at each other all the while.

 

Finally, to Harry and Eggsy’s relief, they seemed to come to some sort of agreement and waddled off together.

 

“I think this will work out splendidly.” Harry said.

 

 

* * *

 

In just a few days Eggsy, with the help of a few of his mates, managed to build an outdoor enclosure. The enclosure was…well, Eggsy always went a little overboard with anything concerning his pets and some of his mates joked that it was nicer than their homes. The framework was a dark, solid wood that had strong mesh wiring to keep out any predators. Inside the enclosure there was a little house to keep the ducks warm and dry with some comfy hay bedding. Of course Claire and Pearl needed somewhere to swim so with a large amount of difficulty Eggsy managed to install a small pond in their enclosure.

 

After saying goodbye to everyone, Eggsy took Claire and Pearl outside, ready to show them their new home. Before he could open up the door, he heard the front door opening and closing. _Looks like Harry’s home,_ Eggsy thought.

 

“Eggsy?” Harry called.

 

“Out back Harry!” Eggsy shouted back. Deciding not to wait, Eggsy opened up the enclosure door and ushered Claire and Pearl inside.

 

“What do you think girls?” Eggsy asked as he let Claire and Pearl loose into their new home.

 

“They seem content to me.” Harry said from behind him. Eggsy looked back to see Harry, still in his suit jacket, loosening his tie. Claire immediately jumped into the pond and began to paddle around while Pearl was more interested in the small green house that they would sleep in.

 

“I’m glad. This thing was a pain in the arse to build.” Eggsy groaned. Even with the help he got, Eggsy never wanted to build another one of those again.

 

Pudding, now slightly friendlier but still fairly shy, peered at the scene through the bushes. His bushy tail whisked back and forth as he watched the ducks pattering around their enclosure.

 

“Yes, well,” Harry cleared his throat and an embarrassed flush worked itself onto his face, “we may have to build another one.”

 

“Wha?” Eggsy looked at Harry. “What?”

 

Harry sighed and gestured for Eggsy to follow him inside. Confused, Eggsy followed Harry back into the house and in the dining room where there was a cage set on the table. Inside the cage Eggsy could only see a large brown fluffball in the center.

 

Eggsy, now incredibly curious, leaned in to look closer. The brown fluff moved, and Eggsy found himself looking into the eyes of a baby rabbit. Its ears were pressed close to its body and Eggsy could see it shaking just a little bit.

 

 “Harry?” Eggsy didn’t really know what to say first. Where had this rabbit come from? Why did Harry bring it here? Who did it belong to?

 

“Do you remember that man you were talking about a little while ago? The dog trainer?”

 

Eggsy remembered all right. He had been meaning to find the prick but his worries about Pearl and the new enclosure made Eggsy shelve that worry for the time being.

 

“I took it upon myself to, ah, give a tip off to some local law enforcement. Apparently he wasn’t just abusing dogs but many other animals as well. The local animal shelters took most of the poor creatures in but nobody could take this one. And I thought, well…I thought it would be alright if we took this little one in. He can’t take up too much room.” Harry shifted awkwardly.

 

Eggsy didn’t say anything and simply stared in shock at Harry. Apparently Harry took his silence badly and hurriedly began to say “If you don’t want him we can find another ho-oof!”

 

Eggsy promptly stopped Harry’s speech by gripping the older man in an enormous hug. Eggsy leaned up and began to pepper Harry’s lips with kisses. “You,” Eggsy said in between kisses, “are fucking amazing.”

 

When they finally broke apart, Eggsy eagerly went back to the cage and looked the rabbit over. Eggsy guessed it was still a baby based off the fact that its ears weren’t all that big yet. Still, something seemed a little off. If it was a baby rabbit, it was still pretty big for a baby.

 

“Harry, do you know what breed it is?” Eggsy asked.

 

Harry thought for a moment. “I think the woman mentioned something about it. Our connection was bad, I couldn’t hear much except for Flemish...Flemish something.”

 

Eggsy shrugged and picked up the cage. It wasn’t a problem, he just needed to take the bunny to a vet to check up on its health. He was probably over worrying again. “You’re so little” Eggsy cooed at the baby bunny, “we’re going to have to make sure the rest don’t bother you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Flemish Giant Rabbit. Flemish Giant Rabbit you fools.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love and thanks to Cassandra_Drake who told me some important info on domestic buns, and Warrior Nun who named Lola. I thought your suggestion of Bugs Bunny was more amusing but I wanted the rabbit to be female. 
> 
> *angry noises* Really wanted this to be the last chapter but I got really excited about the bun and couldn’t stop myself. Also I haven't updated since November so I wanted to get this out quickly to show you guys I'm still here.

 

Flemish giant rabbit.

Lola, the adorable little baby bunny, was a bloody Flemish giant rabbit.

A few days after they had gotten the rabbit, Eggsy and Harry took the little (Harry now wanted to laugh at describing the critter that way) bunny to the veterinarian to get her health checked out. Apparently there were veterinarians that specialized in rabbits and this was one of the top specialists. The woman obviously wasn’t a cheap veterinarian, and had an appointment list meters long, but let it never be said that Harry didn’t take the best care of the animals under his roof. A called in favor got them the soonest spot they could be wedged in, and as for the money, well, Harry and Eggsy had more than enough to spend being Kingsman agents.

“Does she have a name?” The secretary asked.

Harry and Eggsy shared a look. Neither of them had really decided on an official name. They just called her ‘bunny’ or ‘rabbit’ when referring to her. Harry hesitated in answering, which was a mistake.

“Lola.” Eggsy said quickly.

“Ok then, please just fill out as much paperwork as you can on her and the vet will see Lola soon.” The secretary said.

Eggsy took the paperwork as Harry’s hands were full with _Lola’s_ cage, and they both went to sit down in the reception area. Eggsy plopped down in a seat with a sigh and Harry sat slightly more gracefully next to him. Eggsy began filling out the paperwork, ignoring Harry’s glares being shot at him.

“Lola? Like Bugs Bunny’s girlfriend?” Harry whispered.

“First thing that popped into my head.” Eggsy mumbled back, most of his focus concentrated on the paperwork.

“Surely you could have come up with a better name than that!” Harry grumbled.

Eggsy snorted. “Wha? Like Mr. Pickles?”

Point made. Harry sighed and settled back, carefully cradling Lola’s carrier in his lap. She was still a little nervous about everything. Eggsy was hoping she would settle in a little better after a few weeks, but the poor thing still tended to shake whenever a human got close to her.

Lola also wasn’t used to the carrier. After some quick internet searches, Harry and Eggsy found that domesticated rabbits needed to be indoors (which ruled out letting her stay with Pearl and Claire outside) and, to both of their surprise, would do better if she could run free around the house. Eggsy seemed amused by this, and Harry just felt a tired defeat. His house was becoming a zoo and fighting it seemed useless at this point.

Still, Lola would probably bolt off if let out at this point in time, and both Harry and Eggsy agreed it would be better to keep her in a contained area. Thus part of their living room was now closed off and covered in hay and rabbit bedding.

“Harry, what breed do you think she is?” Eggsy asked, snapping Harry from his thoughts.

“I assumed she was just a common rabbit.” Harry answered, taking a quick look over the paperwork Eggsy had already filled out. The boy’s handwriting was still atrocious, Harry could barely read a word.

“Mmmm…I’ll just put unknown for now.” Eggsy said. He quickly filled in the rest of the form and returned it to the front desk. The secretary quickly looked over the documents before nodding and telling him again the veterinarian would be ready for them soon.

Eggsy walked back over and sat down next to Harry. Unsure what to do with himself next, he quickly looked over the magazines available before picking out one of the trashy celebrity magazines. Amused at Eggsy’s choice, Harry leaned over and took a look at the bold headlines splashed across the pages.

“Hmmm, Keira Knightley secretly gives birth to triplets…” Harry read aloud. Eggsy snorted and flipped the page. “Oh would you look at that, Prince Harry is having an affair with the Duchess of Cambridge. Scandalous.” Harry said in a flat tone.

Eggsy laughed “They’ll write anything in these, won’t they?”

Harry agreed. “It’s very foolish. Prince Harry is a married man and deeply in love with his wife. He would never cheat on her.”

Eggsy paused in his pursuing of the trash and looked up at Harry. “He isn’t. You’re pulling my leg.”

Harry settled back, a small smirk on his face. “It was a lovely wedding, very private and intimate. The bride looked lovely.”

“You’re lying,” Eggsy accused, but he was smiling, “Harry isn’t married. We would’ve heard about it.”

“His bride was uncomfortable being in the public eye. The royal family is welcome to the occasional privacy.” Harry looked away from Eggsy, trying not to laugh.

“Nooooo. Harry are you lying to me? Is Prince Harry really married? When did it happen?” Eggsy tried probing further.

“Mr. Hart? Mr. Unwin? Dr. Davies will see you and Lola now.” One of the personnel walked out of the door leading to the back and looked around for Harry and Eggsy.

“That’s us Eggsy.” Harry grinned and got up from his seat, carefully cradling Lola’s carrier.

“What? No, Harry!” Eggsy grumbled and tossed the magazine back onto the table. As they made their way into the back, with the male assistant leading them, Eggsy hissed at Harry “This conversation is not over!”

Harry almost giggled but managed to keep his composure as they were let into a nicely sized room with a large window looking outside. In the center was a metal topped table which Harry placed Lola’s carrier on. There was only one chair in the room, which Eggsy took with a small amount of savage satisfaction. Harry let him take it, still amused, and stood politely as they waited for Dr. Davies to join them.

Luckily they didn’t have to wait long, and within moments a tall, red haired woman was striding through the door looking at the paperwork they had filled out minutes ago.

“Hello!” Dr. Davies smiled warmly and shook Harry’s hand. “I’m Dr. Davies.”

“I am Harry, and this is Eggsy.” Harry said.

“It’s nice to meet you. And this must be Lola?” Dr. Davies crouched down a bit to look into the carrier.

“Yes.” Harry said.

Dr. Davies frowned and cocked her head as she took in Lola. She stood back and spoke to Harry while still keeping her eyes on Lola. “I can already see she isn’t in the best shape. But you said you got her from an abusive home?”

“Yes, we did.” Harry answered. Interested in saving time, Harry quickly filled Dr. Davies in on how they had been taking care of Lola over the short amount of time she was in their care. Dr. Davies nodded along and asked a few short questions which Harry and Eggsy attempted to answer to the best of their abilities.

After they were done, Dr. Davies took another look at Lola and stared at her for a good long minute. “Hmmm.” Dr. Davies hummed and tapped her lips with her fingernails. “If you don’t mind. I would like to take her out to get a better look.”

“Won’t she run?” Eggsy asked.

“I have a bunny leash and halter we can use to keep her around.” Dr. Davies smiled and walked over to a set of drawers, rummaged around, and withdrew a dark blue leash made out of what looked to be a thick rope.

“If one of you could get her out and hold her so I can get this on,” Dr. Davies gestured at the carrier and both Harry and Eggsy moved to take Lola out. After a few seconds of awkward maneuvering, Harry allowed Eggsy to carefully pry Lola out of her hiding spot. Quickly, Dr. Davies set the halter and leash on Lola, and motioned for Eggsy to place her back on the table.

What she did next didn’t make any sense to either Eggsy or Harry. Dr. Davies carefully observed Lola’s ears, moved her hands over her body and brushed Lola’s coat a few times with her hands. Lastly, Dr. Davies took Lola over to a scale and weighed her. When she was done Dr. Davies gently placed Lola onto the table again and looked up at Harry and Eggsy.

“So,” Dr. Davies sighed, “I assumed she would be one of the common breeds of pet rabbits but I agree with you Eggsy, she’s a little big for a baby. It was possible she wasn’t a baby, but rather a young adult, except she definitely is a baby.” Dr. Davies let out a huffed laugh.

“She’s a bit older than I previously assumed, I can see the flap beginning to develop under her head. I checked her coat, ears, body shape and weight. She is a little underweight for her age and breed, but considering the abuse I’m not surprised.” Dr. Davies said.

Eggsy and Harry shared a confused look.

“I’m pretty positive she’s a giant Flemish rabbit kit.” Dr. Davies looked at Eggsy and Harry, obviously expecting a reaction.

“Sorry?” Eggsy frowned, “I’ve never heard of that before.” Eggsy looked at Harry but Harry shook his head, he hadn’t heard of the creature either.

Dr. Davies looked at them pityingly. She moved over to the computer and pulled up a web browser, did a search, and pulled up the first image she found. Moving away, Dr. Davies gestured for Eggsy and Harry to take a look.

“Bloody fucking hell, is that rabbit bigger than that dog?” Eggsy’s jaw dropped. Harry was tempted to tell him that gentlemen (even those who saved the world from an evil mastermind) need to watch their language in front of ladies.

“The standard weight for females of the species is about seven kilograms. Although they can get bigger.” Dr. Davies said.

“She’s going to bigger than JB, Eliza, and Bond!” Eggsy said, “And maybe even bigger than Pudding!”

Eggsy seemed thrilled by the idea, his eyes were sparkling. Harry on the other hand-well, he just felt resigned. Of _course_ the little rabbit they picked up would be monster sized. Nothing was easy with Eggsy’s animals.

“Is it safe to assume you will be keeping Lola?” Dr. Davies asked politely. It was a fair question, Harry and Eggsy had been prepared for a small rabbit, not a giant one. Undoubtedly it would require a different kind of care, not to mention how the rest of their animals would react to Lola. However, Harry already knew the answer and it meant that he may as well give up trying to keep his house tidy.

“Of course we are!” Eggsy said before wincing and taking a quick look at Harry for concession.

“Yes, I believe Lola will fit in quite well once she’s settled in.” Harry said.

Dr. Davies grinned. “If that’s the case, then there’s quite a lot we need to talk about then.”

* * *

 

Rabbits were a lot more difficult to care for than Harry originally thought. Some of the information Dr. Davies gave them Eggsy had already found out, but there was still quite a bit more. Including the fact that Lola needed to be spayed.

Eggsy joked that it would be great having a lot of little (big) Flemish giant kits running around the house. Harry smiled at the joke, but felt a slight shiver of horror down his spine. Imagining Lola breeding wasn’t a pleasant thought. Dr. Davies confirmed the phrase ‘Breeding like rabbits’ wasn’t something to take lightly. “Unless you plan on professionally breeding her, we recommend you spay Lola to keep down the population issues as well as for your own sanity.” Dr. Davies threw in the last part with a chuckle.

Eggsy and Harry heartily agreed with her. Their house and yard were already bursting with animals, they didn’t need little bunnies running rampant as well.

“Although Pudding would probably eat them.” Eggsy muttered.

“Since we don’t know her exact age I would like to wait another few months to spay her for safety.” Dr. Davies said. Eggsy and Harry nodded their heads in agreement almost mechanically. Anything Dr. Davies suggested, they would take her professional opinion on the matter. It made the conversation a little dull, but Harry and Eggsy trusted Dr. Davies to plan the best care for Lola.

Just as they were about to wrap up, Harry’s phone rang. He quickly pulled it out and excused himself. Eggsy raised an eyebrow at him as he left and Harry gently squeezed Eggsy’s shoulder in a comforting gesture before exiting the room.

“Uh.” Dr. Davies hesitated in her spiel, eyes flickering to the door and then back to Eggsy.

“I let him know what he missed.” Harry said, gesturing for Dr. Davies to continue. She shrugged and continued on, handing Eggsy some paperwork and pamphlets for Lola.

“And don’t hesitate to come see me if anything goes wrong.” Dr. Davies concluded.

“We will. Thank you.” Eggsy said graciously, reaching out to shake Dr. Davies hand.

“Eggsy, I’m afraid we have to-ah, are we finished?” Harry said upon reentering the room.

“Yup!” Eggsy handed Harry the paperwork and picked up Lola’s carrier himself.

“Actually, that was work,” Harry said apologetically, “we have to run Eggsy. Merlin will send someone to come by and take Lola back home.”

Eggsy cast a worried look at the rabbit. Harry understood, leaving Lola, for however long this mission would take, wasn’t a pleasant thought. The poor creature was already a nervous wreck half the time, and Eggsy never liked leaving the animals without either of them home.

“Merlin promised to have Davenport come look after them while we’re gone.” Harry said quietly to Eggsy. It was a comfort, however small. Davenport was one of Merlin’s new tech men, and similar to Eggsy- adored animals and seemed to get along with their brood fairly well.

It had taken Eggsy some time to get used to Davenport working at their animal babysitter but after a conversation between the two one day, Eggsy settled down. Harry hadn’t been there, but he heard from Merlin that Eggsy sat Davenport down one day and- in Merlin’s words- “Sat the poor bloke down and gave him the same talk father’s give their daughter’s boyfriends.”

“Alright.” Eggsy said softly, “Hang on a moment.”

Eggsy leaned down and spoke gently to Lola, saying a quick goodbye and a promise that he would be back soon. It didn’t seem to have any effect on the rabbit, but Eggsy looked more content as he stood up and took Harry’s hand.

“Alright, let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, what animal should Eggsy pick up next? It can be any small fluffy animal- from a squirrel to some rare creature Eggsy might find on one of his missions.


End file.
